Lions-Rams: That '70s Show

When the St. Louis Rams take their sorry, 0-7 act on the road to stumble up against the almost-as-sorry, 1-5 Lions on Sunday, nostalgia will run as thick as the soot in the Motor City air.

St. Louis and Detroit...playing a meaningless mid-season football game...Shout it from the rooftops, friends, the NFL as we used to know it is back! Parity is dead, and a rebirth of the '70s is upon us!

All this harks to a time when our kids weren't too fat and our celebrities too thin; back when we actually believed the sludge which is Coors was a premium brew, if only because their boss told us it had water from the Rockies in it; back when newspapers were king and blogs were...well, they weren't.

Light up a smoke, close your eyes, and try to take a deep breath. Now open 'em. Pro football never looked so good, eh?

Once again we can take great comfort in knowing that when the Rams (of St. Louis Cardinals vintage), and the Lions of dependable Detroit bump up against our squad, a win is in the offing!

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In God We Trust

Well, what can we tell ya, folks?

We're pretty proud we can call God a regular at the Grill Room. He's well-behaved, a good tipper, drinks only the best stuff, keeps the clientele buzzing with some mind-boggling card tricks, and is patient answering the questions our bartenders often tire of.

Last week, when we asked Him why He hated Michigan, The Big Guy took offense and then pity. Why, he not only saw to it that the Lions ended their 19-game losing streak, but also made sure the most corrupt city in the world was punished for its evil ways.

By sending Washington's team to ingloriously fall at the feet of the lousy Lions, He illustrated with a master's stroke that sometimes punishment can reap rewards.

So, with God at our side, we are looking for more answers around here as Week 4 of the NFL season gets set to unfold.

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Why Does God Hate Michigan?

Week 3 of the NFL season will kick off in less than 48 hours and we figure it's about time we got some answers in the Grill Room.

Answers to what? That's another question, sluggo. I said we're looking for answers around here.

Answers to stuff like...

Why does God hate Michigan?
Here's why we're asking: Because isn't it bad enough that Kid Rock calls the place home? What, a 15.6 percent unemployment rate isn't high enough that these poor people also have to watch their football team go on strike each Sunday?! If the Lions don't win at home against the impotent Redskins this weekend, they will become only the second team in NFL history to have lost at least 20 straight games. Then they'll have nothing between them and the 1976-77 Tampa Bay Yucks, who fumbled their way to a record 26 losses in a row. Good Michiganders all over the state will be dropping to their knees Sunday praying for one stinking win. And, if God forbid, they come up short yet again, they can least give thanks that many of them weren't forced to watch it.

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